Norfolk


<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="800" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-in-cafe-1.jpg" alt="Woman in cafe" class="wp-image-44071" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-in-cafe-1.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-in-cafe-1-800x640.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-in-cafe-1-768x614.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-in-cafe-1-656x525.jpg 656w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>The September buzz is all about back to school, new season shopping and an abundance of fresh culture. But there&#8217;s something of January about this month – an opportunity to wipe the slate clean, reset and set good intentions as we deal with the post-holiday hangover of excess rays and rosé. The bonus? Better weather and less pressure to publicly declare your goals. We asked Norwich-based counsellor and psychotherapist&nbsp;<a href="https://norfolk.muddystilettos.co.uk/little-black-book/directory/nadia-hayes-counselling-services/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Nadia Hayes</a> to share her top tips for a new season personal MOT.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Walking-in-nature.jpg" alt="Walking in nature" class="wp-image-44060" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Walking-in-nature.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Walking-in-nature-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Walking-in-nature-768x511.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Walking-in-nature-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>September brings with it a great opportunity to take a moment out, look at how we&#8217;re doing and press the reset button if we need to. January may be traditionally the time for resolutions and fresh starts, but the new school year and change of seasons is actually the time when many of us set the rhythms and patterns for life. It’s the perfect time to stop and take stock, make clear decisions about how we would like things to look, and what we can do to support ourselves in getting there.</p>



<p>The school summer holidays can bring space and opportunity, but can also be really demanding &#8211; juggling work and time off, or the constant need to entertain and feed kids. By the end of the summer, the cupboards may be a little bare, both of snacks and our own resources.&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-block-in-free-time">Block in free time</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Happy-planner.jpg" alt="Happy planner" class="wp-image-44069" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Happy-planner.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Happy-planner-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Happy-planner-768x511.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Happy-planner-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>So, what can we do? How do we turn this around when we might be feeling exhausted? First of all, allow room for that. We cannot give from an empty cupboard, so the first thing we can look at is how to carve out some time for ourselves, which may very well have been missing for much of summer. This can be about mindset as well as about practical opportunities, which can be a great relief to those of us with a heavy schedule. If your diary can afford you some time, book it in and prioritise it just as much as you would any other commitment. Consciously recognising its importance will help you to properly enjoy that time guilt free.&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Breathe first, think second</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Breathe.jpg" alt="And breathe neon sign" class="wp-image-44058" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Breathe.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Breathe-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Breathe-768x511.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Breathe-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>Breathwork may not be a new concept, but have you connected with a technique that works for you? There’s science behind it &#8211; using these techniques stimulates the vagus nerve to lower the heart rate, which can slow release of inflammatory stressors such as adrenaline and cortisol. Knowing that it really makes a difference can motivate us to find the right approach for us, such as the 4-7-8 approach, and to make time to practise it.&nbsp;</p>



<p>As with any change we’re trying to make, attaching it to something we’re already doing is a great way to build a new habit. When you put the kettle on, when you&#8217;re waiting at school pickup, or even every time you pick up your phone for a bit of scrolling, stop and spend a minute, even just one minute, steadily breathing in, holding it, holding it some more, and then breathing out as slowly as you can.&nbsp;</p>



<p>I always teach this as Breathe First, Think Second, or B1T2. Stopping whatever we’re thinking about and simply focusing on this breathing, just for a minute, gives us a mini time out and presses reset on our thoughts and feelings. With heart rate, adrenaline and cortisol reduced, we can think more clearly and calmly. Try doing this every day for a week as an experiment &#8211; a small goal that has the potential to bring about big change.&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Self-care snacks</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-driving.jpg" alt="Back of woman in driving seat" class="wp-image-44067" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-driving.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-driving-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-driving-768x511.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-driving-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>Embracing mini self-care habits in this way helps you step out of your day, the routine and the demands, for just a moment, and prioritise yourself. Take note of spaces within a day, like the drive home from school drop off or work &#8211; these are opportunities to stop ourselves from running mental to-do lists and to focus on ourselves. Breathe, give yourself recognition for something that went well, properly acknowledge it and allow those good feelings in. You will slow down those stressful thoughts and send some endorphins your way instead. Or decide to put on a favourite piece of music or a really good audiobook, even when you are catching up on chores. Take control of how that feels and over how you want to feel in your day.&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Declutter to destress</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Declutter.jpg" alt="Woman kneeling folding clothes" class="wp-image-44068" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Declutter.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Declutter-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Declutter-768x511.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Declutter-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>Another good piece of self-care as we move from summer to autumn can be having a good declutter and sort out. Having clear spaces and a sense that we are on top of things in our home is very freeing and calming, and can help us feel that we have room to think. As we head into darker evenings and ultimately the festive season, it can help us feel in control if we are approaching it from a good place.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">What&#8217;s achievable?</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="800" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-with-blank-notebook.jpg" alt="Hands holding blank notebook next to a milky coffee" class="wp-image-44072" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-with-blank-notebook.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-with-blank-notebook-800x640.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-with-blank-notebook-768x614.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-with-blank-notebook-656x525.jpg 656w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>Next up, now you have created space in your head and topped up your energy levels, it’s a good time to plan out how you would like to go forwards from here. With my clients I am always looking at achievable goals. Your best route to successful change is by shooting for things that you’ll be able to keep going with. So not the big fad diets or total detox plans, but by examining the choices you’re already making to see if you are happy with them, by your own standards. </p>



<p>If you want to make changes, what would that be and how would you set yourself up for success? It could be setting up a food delivery service, getting a favourites list on your shopping delivery or even simply working to a meal planner so you no longer feel on the back foot by midweek when everyone is tired.&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Resist a hard reset</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="1200" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-upside-down-1.jpg" alt="Woman upside down" class="wp-image-44077" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-upside-down-1.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-upside-down-1-667x800.jpg 667w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-upside-down-1-833x1000.jpg 833w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-upside-down-1-768x922.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Woman-upside-down-1-438x525.jpg 438w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>While motivation is high, it can be tempting to go for those big-ticket items: new&nbsp;job, new hobby, new plans, new life! This can be down to that “flight” response, along the lines of “this doesn’t feel like it’s working so I’ll change it completely!”. If we are looking for more energy, more capacity and more enjoyment, this might not be our best route to it. </p>



<p>I often talk about “the hunt for the middle ground” with my clients, moving away from the feeling that it has to be working really well or completely replaced. Alway chasing the myth of perfection can lead to burnout. Acknowledge all the bits you do like, that do work, the parts that make you happy in the simplest of ways but can so easily get overlooked when everything else demands so much more attention. Focus on making sure to keep these, and looking at how you can work with them, with achievable goals as your mantra to set yourself up for success and to stop yourself from unreasonably feeling like you are failing.&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Embrace autumn</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1000" height="666" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Autumn-leave-hanging-on-string.jpg" alt="Autumn leaves hanging on string" class="wp-image-44078" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Autumn-leave-hanging-on-string.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Autumn-leave-hanging-on-string-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Autumn-leave-hanging-on-string-768x511.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/norfolk/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2023/09/Autumn-leave-hanging-on-string-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>



<p>And finally, make sure you make time to step outside! Autumn is such a beautiful time. Feeling in step with the seasons and connected to nature can help us feel grounded in all that we have around us. We can feel part of this time of great change by pausing to decide how we want to move forward and creating room to make that happen.&nbsp;<br></p>



<p><em><a href="https://www.nadiahayes.co.uk/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><a class="" href="https://www.nadiahayes.co.uk/">Nadia Hayes</a></a> is a professionally qualified and BACP-registered counsellor and psychotherapist based in Norwich. She offers both online and in-person therapy using a combination of the most proven methods. To find out more, call </em><a href="tel:07956368090" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">07956 368090​</a> or email <a href="mailto:enquiries@nadiahayes.co.uk" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">enquiries@nadiahayes.co.uk</a></p>



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September reset! Top tips for a new season lifestyle reboot

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