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Try a super duper facial

No pain, no gain...

You may be wondering whether I’ve actually moved to Jersey with this – post number three – now on the blog about this tiny, sunny island. In reality, I only went once, but my spa treatment was so was good I thought it deserved it’s own dedicated piece, rather than being tucked away at the back of the hotel review (that’s just how we roll here at Muddy).

So, please put this white robe on, slip into these flip flops on (one, two… there you go!) and let’s float to the spa… Shall we?

Like I mentioned in the full review of The Club Hotel & Spa, Jersey, this isn’t a huge hotel but it has fought to include facilities usually reserved for larger properties (think roof terrace Champagne bar, Michelin-star restaurant and, most importantly, a spa). As ex-editor of Spa Secrets magazine, I’ve had the pleasure of testing out several spas in my time, but it’s been a while and things have moved on a bit. (And I’m in desperate need of a facial).

The Club Spa favours Decleor products and consists of a Rasul (mud bath to you and me), a salt-water pool with bubble jets at the top end, a sauna, a nail bar and experience showers (different temperatures/ water flows at the touch of a button). The treatment menu is vast and includes massages, facials, Ayurvedic therapies (the oldest healing ritual originating in India more than 5,000 years ago), manicures/pedicures, salon treatments such as eyelash tinting, and special treatments for pregnant women and men.

The saltwater pool

I choose the Pure Skin Facial (55 minutes; £68) and am warmly greeted in the smart reception area by my therapist, Atlanta, who leads me to a cosy treatment room and asks me what I hope to achieve from my treatment (to stop looking like a leather handbag) and whether I am allergic to anything (ageing!).

Treatment room

She explains that the facial includes a collagen mask that will fully cover my eyes and mouth but that it only lasts 10 minutes. “Is that going to be OK?” she asks cheerily. “Sure,” I reply, lying my ass off (what?!). In truth, I have had this type of facial before, and is it very effective, but not the best choice if you’re claustrophobic.

Atlanta then sets to work applying a tangy cleanser before removing it with warm cotton wool pads. Next comes a luxurious massage to wake up my tired skin, followed by a scrub to improve circulation. Warm mitts are used to remove the scrub, after which Atlanta massages my temples and forehead. Much-needed moisturiser comes next followed by the collagen mask. Sticky and thick, Atlanta literally paints it over my face, leaving just my nose free to breathe (my eyes are covered with cotton pads). The room goes darker than black out blinds and the whole experience feels odd but strangely relaxing.

A luxurious head and scalp massage then ensues while the mask begins to harden; Atlanta pulling my hair from the roots to get the blood flowing. The mask comes off in one go and reveals plumper, fresher skin. With a reservation at Ocean restaurant to hop to, I look, and feel, Michelin-star ready.

The Club Spa, The Club Hotel & Spa, Green Street, St Helier, Jersey, JE2 4UH. Tel: 01534 876500.

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